When you are craving a steak dinner, do you go to a Mexican restaurant? No. That would be silly. When you really need someone to listen or some good support, who do you go to? Your flaky friend? The friend that turns everything around and hogs the conversation? The person that only shows up when they need something? Or the person that is dependable, makes effort and who you trust most? If you go to a support system that really is not supportive, you are setting yourself up for failure. That person is not capable of being who you want them to be, as MUCH as you may want them to be that for you.
Now, back to that steak. You've had a long day and would love for there to be a steak dinner waiting at home for you to just sit back and enjoy. You arrive home and not only is there no steak on the table, but no plans for dinner... at all. Are you disappointed? Sure. Your mouth was watering at the thought! Can you be disappointed? No. You have conjured up a idea in your head without communicating it to the person. How can that person fulfill your expectations without being a mind reader. You must communicate expectations in all forms and sizes. If you don't, you are setting yourself up again for frustration that you actually caused yourself.
And one more steak dinner expectation. Do you cook with the finest ingredients and cookware or are you the kind of person who shoves something in the oven or microwave just to say it is done? In life, we often expect people to put the same effort in on the steak dinner as we would take time to do ourselves. Not the case. If you are a microwave dinner person, I cannot expect a 5 star restaurant experience from you. Give grace. See where people are at and note their intentions if you tend to have high expectations for yourself and others. If you are the person with low expectations, challenge yourself to raise the bar a bit.
The bottom line is to not expect more out of a person than they are actually able to give. Don't expect others to behave as you would. And you HAVE to communicate expectations because most of us are not mind readers. Now, who wants to take me out for dinner??